There goes my hero...

So I have this paper due (well, at least a third draft due) Tomorrow. It's going to be tricky because it's a research paper, and frankly, if I can't just sit down and write something, it's going to suck.

But that's good. See, there's this formula that I have for writing themes for class. If I hate it and wish it did NOT have my name on it when I turn it in- it's going to be a winner.

In Developmental Writing 850 (yes, I took a developmental class, several in fact. dammit.) They work on the number scale: a 4 being pretty much an A, and you have to get a 4 on your last paper in order to pass. I made a 2 on my first paper, and I really really liked that one. The rest, not so much. I didn't make a grade below 5 for the rest of the semester.

So far, I'm running an A, B, and a B+ (which is only a B+ because it was turned in a day late and therefore dropped a letter grade) I haven't particularly liked anything I've turned in this semester, so it's good to see the formula's still working.

But I digress. The paper is about heroes. Or lack thereof. How when you're young, you learn about the founding fathers, and their bravery and courage in "discovering" the new land and the pioneers who braved all to start a life with their families. And when you're older, you figure out that Columbus "discovering" America is about like me breaking into your car and "discovering" your stereo. The essay that we're using as one of the references tells a story of the authors cousin, who during a Thanksgiving feast took a bite of corn pudding and lamented on how the natives taught the white man to use corn before the white man exterminated them. The family replied with nervous chuckles.

What is it about the destruction of our "heroes" that makes us so nervous. Why is it that the term "hero" makes us nervous? I think it's because it's so overused. During my research, I stumbled upon a site that celebrates "heroes". A young girl who delivers cookies to the workmen at Ground Zero. A kid who survives a triple bypass. Are these people worthy to carry the same title as MLK? Extraordinary- yes. Hero? I really don't think so. We are so anxious to have "heroes" that we'll give the title to almost anyone, but more than having heroes, we love to see them suffer. Maybe that's why we set the pedistal so low- it's easier to push them off!

Changing the subject- I've been keeping up with John's website, and he has his own comic heroine: Hot Fat Ninja Chic with Robot Arm. It's a really great comic, and John is one of the really great semi-unknowns (though he's working on becoming known, good for him)

Something is bothering me. Though I have certain religious beliefs that I've clung to for most of my life, I'm a huge anti-fan of "organized" religion. It just never effected me the way it does others (not that there's anything wrong with that...)

And when John and I dated, he was the most adament hard-core Atheist I've ever known, he could debate his beliefs (or lack thereof) like it was nobody's business. Though we didn't absolutely agree on everything, we did agree on a lot of things. I respected the hell out of him.

Well, some of his and his wife's recent posts speak of their "shopping" for a new church. They went to church on Easter, and bought new Easter clothes for the occasion. For some reason, this bugs the shit out of me. I feel like...

I lost a hero.

Go figure.