Had a bad day again...

I have less than a month or so until Big moves back in.

Are we "together"?..
No.

But.. again.. His moving back in will at least allow me to satisfy my craving for his presense. And give me further inspiration to get back on the stationary bike. I've been bad. I haven't worked out in like three days (well, I did today- but I'm getting to that.)

I've been watching infomercials for the 6 Week Makeover program and I really want to get it. It's like over a hundred bucks, and it would really slow down my debt snowball... plus is requires a lot of cooking, from what I've seen. Mostly because you have to eat, like, every two hours.

And it all makes sense, you know. I know you have to eat to keep your metabolism working, but I lack the cognitive ability to actually conciously eat "something" every two hours. I'm a huge smoker, why can't cigarettes have like, 10 calories each or something? My metabolism would be working CONSTANTLY. Well, actually, since nicotine is a stimulant, my metabolism probably is working, but the tar preventing oxygen getting to my muscles is probably counteracting all of this working out I've been doing.

It's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, I haven't felt good at all for the past two days. It's one of those things where I don't know what IS wrong, but I know something isn't right. A girl in my English class has a nasty stomach virus. Last night, about four hours before I'm supposed to be at work all kinds of nasty starts happening. To be honest, I don't know if it was a virus or the leftover pizza, but let's say it was nasty, mighty nasty. So I called out.

I HATE calling out at work. I'm so afraid that I'll get in trouble, but if I show up puking everywhere, chances are good that they'll send me home anyway. And if it was a virus, I don't need to take that to work, where I'm in contact with around 60 immunity-impaired veterans.

But I'm not "in" at the hospital yet, you know? I'm still "sorda" on probation, and I'm terrified that they'll kick me out. We're really short handed, and I know what the VA goes through to hire someone in, so the likelyhood of me getting FIRED for calling out is nill, but I still worry. I think it comes from the lack of bitching that happens when one does call out. See, everywhere else I've ever worked, if you have to call out, you get shit. "Uh! Why!? Are you SURE you can't come in!?"

This place, you call the NOD, who is overlord of the whole hospital, and she calls your team on the unit on which you work. She (or He) gives you NO shit whatsoever.

It's actually kinda cool.

But I need to be good. No more calling out, dammit.

Actually, since the semester is almost over, I'm going to talk to the head nurse (the head nurse! ha!) and see if she needs someone for second a few nights a week. I'll pull a few doubles, I can really use the money.

Yeah, that's it.

PS- I did work out today. Take that, Denise Austin!