Hopefully you'll get this one...

Anyway, you were really close to finding my blog. I really don't mind if you read it, because it's really nothing more than I'd told you already. 'Cept less sugar coated, I guess.

So, I'm just kind of in this weird place right now, because I'm thrown back to before, where I would spend so much time gushing to my friends about how much I really like you, and I really didn't get to see you. Yeah, me, gushing.

I'm trying to be good. I'm trying not to be silly and immature. Hell, even the "activly avoiding me" me jokes have no ill intent. Really!

I guess I just want to know where you are.

If there could be anything between us, if I just need to be patient.

If the whole age thing really does bother you, and I just need to back off (at least from the us-together-like-that direction...)

This is all part of my neurosis, you see. You told me before that you have these issues with you and women, well, guess what? So do I.

Er.
With men.

I have this fear of coming on too strong in the wrong way. (Because most guys like a woman to be strong in some ways...weaklings in others. fuckin' men.)

I crave honesty. I don't ask for anything from someone with whom I have interest except to be totally honest. Obviously, because of my last "big" romanticish situation, I'm not wanting to have to wait for a guy to think of how he feels, and I certainly don't want to walk on eggshells, holding back my words or feelings because I'm afraid of scaring someone off.

If you get scared off, maybe it's for the better.

But I really don't want it to be that way.