Who nurses the nurse?

I'm sick.

I've finally resigned to admitting this- instead of "oh, it's just a cough..."

I feel like hell.

And I further feel like... well, I don't know. I guess I'm happy. I'm crazy in love with this guy who was frickin' custom made for me...

I have a good job. Decent GPA...
I'm tired. But other than that.

I was right. I do lose my edge when I'm "happy" in a relationship. Most of my best "bits" come from bitching about significant others. And the rest of my bits come from bitching about things that normally wouldn't frustrate me if I were in a "happy" relationship. So I talk about... happy things. I look on the bright side, and I have a better eye for things that I have no control over, and thus am able to purge the need to bitch. Quite so much.

While in the CNA class, I was constantly ... well, not really "upbeat," just... more positive than the others. I accepted that we were only allowed to miss one day of class. I accepted that we were only paid $5.25 an hour to do what we did. These are all things that we were aware of when we started the class, and while everyone else would piss and moan about the pay, or the work, or the fact that they could only miss one day, I would chime in with, "well, we knew it was going to be like this when we signed up for the class..." Matter of fact-ly. Not being a smartass. Really.

One girl actually said, "You know, you're attitude pisses me off."

She was this tall, overly intimidating black girl. She probably could have kicked my ass. Hell, she probably would have kicked my ass if I hadn't just kept my mouth shut for the rest of the class sessions.

I have the feeling that my present state of euphoria is somewhat disconcerting to my present coworkers. I'm positive. I'm accepting. I talk about Richard. A lot. But I really try not to... I just can't help it.

So I'm happy. Happy like Julie Andrews spinnin' 'round on a mountain top like a mental patient happy.

Argh. I don't know... I miss him, I crave him. I was singing "Never Tear Us Apart" for all of my patients last night. Some liked it more than others, I think.