Alton Brown really is my true love.

Ok, so I did good today. I think the last time I tried to call was today at around 11 am. I'm not calling anymore. When I reach a point where I begin asking myself what I did wrong- it's time to walk away. If he can't handle me, his fucking loss.

I was willing to look past his horrific teeth, too. I actually found them charming. Silly me. There is only one man on whom I can depend.
Alton Brown. He's smart, funny, and has a vast amount of knowledge about really trivial pop culture things. He's fricking awesome. And he's there for me every weeknight at 6 pm.

And a few other times in between.

I'm sure his wife would be thrilled to hear this.

They're all married and/or gay.

This sucks.

By the way- Alton promotes this awesome site called The Gallery of Regrettable Food. It's hillarious and features old timey cookbook images that look like something the dog threw up. It's frickin' awesome.

Tyler Florence is hot too.