I feel stupid and contagious...

I am sick. Not just in the way you may be thinking from reading my previous posts, but really really sick. The flu is HUGE in Tennessee right now, and I've been trying my best to avoid it like the fricking plague. (Duh.) But here it is, at least the infant version. I'm stuffy, sore, coughing, but still able to function miserably.

Yesterday, as predicted, dinner and a movie with Big turned out to be dinner and sex with Big...

Jesus.

I didn't want to, to be honest. At work Wednesday, we were making jokes about giving up sex for Lent. I'm not Catholic (obviously), but I actually thought about it. What if I gave up sex for an undisclosed amount of time (couple of months, say?) just to get my priorities straight and give myself some me time. So through my weak, unenthusiastic protests, I succumbed. But of course, I have to tell myself that it doesn't mean anything and we only use each other for a good time and the occasional nice meal and a drink. But I do still love him, even if ... well, you know, I've been downgraded back to "fuck buddy."

God, never fall in love with those. It sucks.

In other news, I got my first big fat paycheck from my new job today. It's oh, a little less than twice as much as what I'd make for doing the exact same thing at my previous job only the benefits are better. There's something about the words "juicy government contract" that just make me wet. So monitarily, I'm cool. For now. I was never in too much of a rut, to be honest. I'd have to bum the occasional pack of smokes now and then, but other than that, I'm gravy. Having all of this extra money is really going to help me get the Kia paid off and, god willing, I'd like to buy a house before I turn 30. Because that would be frickin' cool.

There's this thing at work, though. It's a military/government type building, so I'm always unsure about language. A lot of the people I take care of seem to like me, they like the spunky kid me, you know. But my co-workers--not so sure. I said "jesus!" today (because that's what I do- it's an expression of surprise or dismay) and a bunch of people just looked at me like I had screamed "hey jesus, fuck you!" while thrusting a crucifix into my crotch. It's just an expression, people, I don't mean anything personal against the Son, ok? If it is offensive, it's because ignorant people MAKE it offensive. Dammit.

Since when should the word "Jesus" have a negative connotation?