Dear The Other Woman:

Of course, Big told you everything about us. How he's been living with me off and on for over a year. How he crawls into my bed and puts his arms around me and calls me his "Poobie" so that I'll give him some cash for smokes and gas (to visit you, I'll wager.)

I'm sure he told you all sorts of horrible things about me. I'm controlling, bitchy, etc, etc. (That is, if he mentioned me at all aside from the ex from hell.) Yes, I got very controlling, but that is a reflex, which you will someday learn, that women get when we start to lose control.

I agreed to take care of Big and help him get through school on the condition that he help me around the house. I offered this deal on the provison that he be perfectly honest with me in his dealings with other girls- mostly so that I might get over him. You see, I was deeply in love with him. Hell, I still am. So much to the point that when I read your post on Des' website ((editor note: if you click on the link, see Beautiful Disaster's post)), I went into a rage and started throwing all of his belongings onto the patio.

I felt, and even more strongly now feel, that KNOWING that he has moved on would give me the violent shove I needed to get over him. And thankfully, it did.

For that, I am truly grateful. Big has the potential to be a great person if he would only grow up and develop some integrity.

Now, some words of wisdom.

Big's greatest strength is blowing smoke up your ass. He will tell you what you need to hear, when you need to hear it simply to avoid ANY kind of conflict.

After a couple of months, don't expect any great verbal or written exclamations of his feelings. Look to his actions to determine how he truly feels.

Above all else- make him wear a condom. He is notorious for "not wanting to," and even if you are on some birth control, make him do it anyway. He has no qualms whatsoever for making you go through an abortion and forgetting that the episode ever happened. So, if you're the type that can't easily get over something like that, glove before love.

Best of luck.